Mural crimes. Only you can stop them.
Bamboo tiki torch: $8.99.
Mural artist: $8/hr.
Moose crossin' sign: Priceless.
Dancing with myself.
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The Hut
15 South Saginaw Street
Pontiac, Michigan
It all started when my boyfriend e-mailed me from Detroit (where he lives, a convenient 4 hours away from me) and said he had seen an ad for a place called 'The Hut' in the paper. The ad had a dancing tiki god drinking a fruity drink out of a tiki mug. Looked promising. Could this really be true? A tiki bar less than 8 hours drive away from me? Readers, let me tell you, I was beyond excited. Plus, since I only get down to Michigan about once a month, I had ample time in order which to build up lofty expectations of some Motor City Moai mecca.
Sadly, it was not to be.
A prliminary phone call to The Hut gave us our first clue of what was to come - they didn't serve dinner, and they were also a 'dance bar'. Shudder. However, optimist that I am, I put on my vintage Hawaiian shirt which I had brought with me for this very occasion, and off we went. A review in the paper had stated that the 70's themed establishment downstairs from the Hut (called 'The Have A Nice Day Cafe') served a half-decent dinner, so we planned to eat some Saturday Night Fajita or whatever bad puns were on the menu, and then go for cocktails at the Hut. Well, in this matter we were also misled, because when we arrived, we were told, rather rudely, that the 'Have a Nice Day Cafe' didn't serve food, nevermind that they had just been reviewed in the paper for their food only weeks before. Have a nice day, indeed.
After dinner had been found and eaten elsewhere, we returned to the hut, visions of volcanoes and bongo drums dancing in our head. But one step inside the place shattered that fantasy into a zillion peices.
Your 1987 prom committee could have decorated your high school gym better than this. A few cheap plastic leis, beer posters taped to the wall, a wet suit tacked to the ceiling, and a bizarre mural of a tiki god (that somewhat resembled a California Raisin) made up the sparse decor.
In some sort of misguided attempt to help out in Kevin's Search For The Ultimate Mai Tai, http://www.kevdo.com/maitai/ I asked the bartender for a Mai Tai. Apparently that was beyond her skill level, so I asked for 'something fun and fruity' instead. She gave me a dark, viscuous Sex on the Beach in a wee plastic cup (as seen in photo). Jason had the better idea and ordered the Corona. This could have just been the power of suggestion, as the majority of the beer decorations taped to the wall in the Hut were cut-out cardboard Corona bottles wearing sombreros.
The back room of the bar contained a strange, elongated and railed off dance floor with a sad palm tree painted on the wall. The DJ was spinning all my favourite exotica LP's like Billy Idol's 'Dancing With Myself' and Men Without Hats 'Safety Dance'. That was irony, in cased you missed it by the way.
After taking a few pictures (strictly for the purpose of this piece, not because there was anything particularly exotic to take pictures of), we decided to finish our drinks, cut our losses, and call it a night.
PS. Do you know of a Tiki bar in YOUR town? The fishstick is willing (as you might have gathered) to travel long distances to get to one! e-mail me with your dining suggestions!
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