Here they come
On the run
With their fingers
Up their bum!

Mamma mia
Papa Pee-a
Baby got the diarrohea!

When you feel droopy
and you want to go poopy
where's the place to go?
Kybo!
When you feel ooh-ooh!
and you gotta go poo poo
where's the place to go?
Kybo!
Da-da-da da-da-da da-da-da-da-da-da-da (repeat)
Ahhhhh, happy again
(more instumental da-da's)
Kybo! That is the place to go
Kybo! My favourite place to go
Kybo! My favourite pla-ace to go, oh kybo
(Repeat until nearest adults teeter on brink of insanity)

Campbells Soup
Makes you poop
Down your leg
And out your boot

Masturbation time, come on!
There's a masturbation party going on
So bring your good times
And your girlfriend too
'Cause there's a masturbation party going on
Just for you

Let's go to the Don
Let's go to the Don
There's so much to see
And the food is free
Let's go to the Don

Deck the halls with poison ivy
Falalalala, lala la la
Tis the season to be naughty
Falalalala, lala la la
Burn your school books
Break your rulers
Falala, lalala, la la la
Set your teacher's hair on fire
Falalalala, lala la la

Chinese people never swear
Ah-so! Ah-so!

MacDonald's is my kinda place
Hamburgers in your face
Milkshakes up your nose
French fries between your toes
(These lyrics may be inaccurate - I'm still looking for corroboration).

Let's all go to A&W
Food's more burnt at A&W
We'll spit up a cup of rootbeer
And maybe two or three
Food tastes awful
But that's okay with me
So let's all go to A&W
Come as you arrrrre!
Dead in your caaaarrr!
To A-and-dou-ble-uuuuuu!

When you're slidin into first
And your pants are gonna burst
Diarrohea! Diarrohea!
When you're slidin' into two
And you feel a stinky poo
Diarrohea! Diarrohea!
When youre slidin' into third
And you feel a juicy turd
Diarrohea! Diarrohea!
When your slidin' into home
And your pants are fulla foam
Diarrohea! Diarrohea!

Runnin down the gutter
On a piece of bread and butter
Diarrohea! Diarrohea!
People think its funny
But it's really nuts and honey
Diarrohea! Diarrohea!

When you start to count to four
It starts dripping by the door
Diarrohea! Diarrohea!
When you start to count to five
It starts eating you alive
Diarrohea! Diarrohea!

Roger Ramjet
He's our man
Hero of the nation
The only thing
That's wrong with him
Is mental retardation

(Person's name) is smelling
In the middle of spelling

(Person's name) and (Person's name)
sitting in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
(or F-U-C-K-I-N-G, depending on where you went to school) First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes (Another person's name)
In a baby carriage

Daisy, Daisy,
Give me your tits to chew
I'm half crazy
My bollocks are turning blue
I can't afford a johnny
A plastic bag will do
But you'll look sweet
Beneath the sheet
With me on top of you

We three Kings of Orient Are
Tried to smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded, and exploded...
BANG!
We two kings of Orient are
Tried to smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded, and exploded...
BANG!
We one king of Orient are
Tried to smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded, and exploded...
BANG!
Silent night...

Yummy yummy poo and pee
Gotta get some more for me

Mary had a little lamb
She thought it rather silly
She threw it up in the air
And caught it by his..

Willy was a watchdog
Lying in the grass
Along came a bumble bee
And stung him up his..

Ask no questions
Tell no lies
Have you ever seen
a policeman doing up his..

Flies are a nuisance
Bees are worst
And that's the end
Of my silly little verse

Up your nose with a rubber hose
Twice as far with a chocolate bar

Trick or treat
Smell my feet
Give me something good to eat
Not to big, not to small
Just the size of Montreal

In the land of France
The ladies wear no pants
But the men don't care
'Cause they have no underwear

In the land of Oz
Where the ladies wear no bras
And the men don't care
'Cause they have no underwear

Asshole, asshole
A soldier went to war
To piss, to piss
Two pistols at this side
Fuck you, fuck you
For curiosity
To fight for the old cunt
Fight for the old cunt
Fight for the old country!

I see London
I see France,
I see (person's) underpants!

Praise to the lord
the school burnt down
The teachers are all now dead
Except for the principal
He's hanging from the flag pole
He's hanging by the neck
He's hanging by the neck
He's hanging, he's hanging
He's hanging by his neck!

Pinch your cheeks with your fingers and pull them as far apart as possible, so your lips are all stretched out. Then say "I was born on a pirate ship".

Tell your friend to look at a boy (or girl) and silently mouth the words "Elephant shoes". This looks like "I love you".

We had joy we had fun
Stroking Raquel Welch's bum
But the thing we liked best
Was playing with her chest

Bum, tit tit
Bum, tit tit
Plaaaay the hairy banjo!

We're gonna walk down to
Payless to buy some shoes
They only cost a dollar!

Milk, milk
Lemonade
'Round the corner
Chocolate's made

My mommy lies over the ocean
My mommy lies over the sea
My mommy lies over my daddy
And that's how thay made little me

N - E - S - T - L - E - S
What comes out of my A - S - S
Chooooc-late!

Jesus Christ, superstar
Who in the hell do you think you are?
When I die
Bury me
Hang my balls from a cherry tree!
When they're ripe
Take a bite
Don't blame me if you barf all night!

Chinese
Japanese
Knobby knees
Look at these!

Strangers in the night
Exchanging rubbers
This one is too tight
Gotta try another
This one is too loose
But it wil hold the juuuuice

Da na na na na
Inspector Faggot!

Comet
Will make your mouth turn green
Comet
It tastes like gasoline
Comet
Will make you vomit
So get your Comet, and vomit, today!

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile lost a wheel
And the Joker got away

We must
We must
We must increase our bust
The bigger the better
The tighter the sweater
The boys depend on us!

Hickory dickory dock
Hickory dickory dock
We must increase our cock!
(I need to know if there's more to this)

Deck the halls with Santa's balls
fa la la la la, la la la la

I'm looking over
my dead dog rover
that I ran over with the mower
one leg is missing
the other is gone
and all the rest is over the lawn

Liar liar
pants on fire
hanging from the
telephone wire

Do your balls hang high
do your balls hang low
can you tie them in a knot
can you tie them in a bow
Can you throw them over your shoulder
Like a continental soldier
Do your balls hang low

Do your boobs hang high
do your boobs hang low
can you tie them in a knot
can you tie them in a bow
Can you throw them over your shoulder
Like a continental soldier
Do your boobs hang low

Tra la la boom-de-ay
I met a boy today
He saw my underwear
I said I didn't care

My mommy was Chinese
(pull eyelids up with fingers)
My daddy was Japanese
(pull eyelids down with fingers)
And I'm all mixed up!
(Wiggle your eyelids all over the place)

Oh, they built the ship Titanic
To sail the ocean blue
And they thought they had a ship
That the water wouldn't go through
But the good lord raised his hand
Said the ship would never land
It was sad when the great ship went down

Oh it was sad
Oh it was sad
It was sad when the great ship went down
To the bottom of the...

Uncles and aunts
Little children lost their pants
It was sad when the great ship went down
Ker-plunk
It sunk
what a rotten piece of junk
Made in Taiwaaaan

Pardon me
For being so rude
It was not me
It was my food
It just came up
To say hello
And now it's gone
Back down below

Beans beans
Good for the heart
The more you eat
The more you fart
The more you fart
The better you feel
So let's have beans
At every meal

One by one
we were having some fun
in the bath tub tub, tubba tub
Two by two
we knew just what to do
in the bath tub tub, tubba tub
Three by three
I looked at you and you looked at me
in the bath tub tub, tubba tub
Four by four
we shut the door
in the bath tub tub, tubba tub
Five by five
we were feeling alive
in the bath tub tub, tubba tub
Six by six
we connected dicks
in the bath tub tub, tubba tub
Seven by seven
we were in heaven
in the bath tub tub, tubba tub
Eight by eight
it was getting late
in the bath tub tub, tubba tub
(I think ou get the idea...)

Shake your boobies
Shake 'em a lot
Shake 'em a lot

See see my playmate
come out and play with me and bring your buddies three
climb up my sexy knee
slide down my bra strap
into my panty hose
and we'll be jolly friends
forever more more, shut the door

Stella ola ola
Quack quack quack
S-Chico-chico
Chico chico chack chack
S-Chico-chico
Velo, velo,
Velo velo velova!
One two three four five

I Die Dickie Die Doney
Rum Bum Boney
How about whiskey
Chinese chum.